Arjuna’s Anxiety: Decision-Making When Every Option Feels Wrong
A grounded framework for tough choices: values, roles, consequences, and the smallest next action.
Ayush Rameja
Software Engineer
Arjuna’s opening crisis in the Gita is the most relatable thing in the book: he has information, competence, and reasons… and still can’t move. That’s not weakness. That’s what happens when the mind is overloaded with consequences, identity, and fear.
Modern versions show up as: “Should I quit?”, “Should I move?”, “Should I end this relationship?”, “Should I take this job?” The paralysis isn’t just about options—it’s about what each option says about who you are.
Why hard decisions feel impossible
- You’re trying to predict every consequence (impossible).
- You’re trying to avoid regret (also impossible).
- You’re treating the decision as identity (“If I choose this, I am this”).
A four-part framework (use it like a checklist)
1) Values: what do you refuse to betray?
Pick two values. Not twelve. Examples: honesty, stability, growth, family, health, integrity. If you choose too many, you’ve chosen none.
2) Roles: what responsibilities are real?
Dharma isn’t about guilt. It’s about acknowledging responsibilities you’ve accepted: dependents, promises, commitments, the impact your choice will have on others.
3) Constraints: what is true whether you like it or not?
Money, health, visas, time, family realities, mental bandwidth. Constraints are not insults—they’re parameters. Fighting them wastes energy.
4) Next action: what is the smallest testable step?
Most decisions don’t need certainty. They need experiments: talk to someone, try a role for a week, prototype the routine, run a budget, do a trial separation, whatever applies. Make the decision smaller.
A quick template
- Decision: what am I choosing?
- Values (2): ____ and ____
- Roles: who is affected and what do I owe them?
- Constraints: what cannot be ignored?
- Experiment: what can I test in 7–14 days?
- Review date: when will I reassess?
The trade-off
This framework won’t remove pain. Some choices are painful because they’re real. What it does remove is the extra suffering from pretending there’s a perfect option. There isn’t—there’s just the most aligned next step.